we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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