She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
