Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
