Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
