I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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