What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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