we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Even my vagina gasped.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
