I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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