she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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