You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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