i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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