we're blogging at a bar
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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