The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did I show you my penis last night?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
