I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
