all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
