hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
