i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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