I can't watch pbs sober anymore
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
