Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
