I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
