If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
