Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
