We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
