Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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