The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
