sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
