they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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