Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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