we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
