You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
