she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
