I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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