i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
