don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
