So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
