ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
me + whiskey = a bad person
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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