you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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