I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
