I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
