In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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