brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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