oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
