I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
