I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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