You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
