...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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