why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize