So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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