Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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