Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
