I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
ttyl tear gas
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
